*tap* *tap* .. is this thing on?
Well, I'm back after a brief sojourn. I think I became a bit disaffected with a few things but a couple of week's holiday (read: down time at home rather than sun/sand/sea) made me feel a bit more restful. I say made, past tense, because I was only thirty minutes into my first day back at work when my colleague told me he had resigned! But hey, double the workload, double the fun is what I say. softly.mp3 (4m43s, 192kbps, 6.5Mb)
Still, I have a little secret which is cheering me up regardless of the ensuing chaos at work. During my time off, I finally realised a little ambition I have had for a while: to make a tune that I am at least vaguely proud of. I've been fighting with techie stuff and then playing with different techniques on my laptop for a while now, but I finally produced something that I actually like the sound of. Have a listen if you want:
As you may be able to tell, I'm heavily influenced by the likes of Boards of Canada, Autechre and various bits of postrock stuff.
Just back from the pub, and listening to "Point" by Cornelius. Its orgasmically good .. a perfect combination of tight sampling and lovely latin acoustic guitar, with a bit of Jean Michel Jarre and thrash metal thrown in .. Gorgeous ..
Holy crap the man has a vocoded sample of "Brazil" in .. genius!!!
Sense and meaning
Do you think there is a correct way to live your life? I mean, I often get the feeling that there should be some sense or meaning that stands out above all others, if only slightly. But then I look back on my life, and every sense I have ever had about "the way the world is" or "right and wrong" seems to have been coloured by my upbringing or my circumstances. If I think about it harder, I can also see that the times I have felt guilty, the times I have cut myself up inside about my thoughts or actions, have been as a result of the judgement of my peers, or of a supposed God, or else some kind of projected self-judgement. And then there are the actions themselves. Some of my most deliberate and decisive actions have had no meaning whatsoever and, contrarily, some of my most accidental or ill-thought-out actions have had the most far reaching consequences.
( What am I supposed to make of all of this?Collapse )
Its late and somebody is playing Rage Against The Machine close enough or loud enough that I can hear it, all muffled and bassy, in my living room. Its that one with the line, "a bullet in your head!!!" at the end.
Most of the people I know go mental if they can hear music from other flats late at night but I've always kind of liked it. As long as its not too loud, it actually sends me to sleep. I think that's why I quite like living in the centre of town - I find it comforting to hear the sounds of civilisation around me when I'm drifting off: undiscernable voices punctuated by the occasional laugh or shriek, set against the rumble of traffic.
"Damn there goes another kanga
on the bonnet of the van."
Ahh Kate Bush just cracks me up sometimes...
Stares blankely at empty MS Project page
So this is strategy. Apparently I need to think strategically and perform a management role if I want to further my career. But I'm not sure that I can stand staring at this blank MS Project window much longer. Anyway I do strategy all the time: its all in my head, in amongst the passwords, shopping lists and neuroses.
In fact, the things I am thinking about may not even fit onto a page, especially one divided into horizontal and vertical bits. Any time I attempt to draw whatthehellisgoingon on the big whiteboard, it gets very, very messy. It may be that our system is all nonlinear and full of transient spikes and whatnot.
Or maybe I'm just shit at MS Project.
Or maybe I'm just hungover.
Or, quite possibly, both.
Cold, leftover chinese crispy beef with chilli sauce and fried rice for breakfast - y'can't beat it.
Look no dots
What a weak-minded fool I am. After doing really well with the whole healthy living / ditching the alcohol thing, I went completely off the rails this week. I thought that it was partially down to my football team losing in the UEFA cup but careful analysis of the replays clearly show me drinking and smoking (for the nerves, you know) before the game started. And though the game was eventually lost, I continued drinking with a friend (who, again under careful analysis, has similar issues with alcohol consumption) until the bar staff started putting the chairs on the tables.
( and then there was yesterdayCollapse )
Anyway I'm really fed up talking about this. And you know what else I'm fed up with? Those stupid frickin ellipses I keep adding to the end of my subject lines. No more.
Its the little things ...
I was going to have a rant about last night's antics. In fact I had written a good few paragraphs relating to my excessive drinking, smoking, gesticulating, shouting at the big screen during the football last night, arguments that ensued with friends and carried on till around 4am. But then I saw the most wonderful thing while walking home, and I thought it would be far nicer to mention instead.
( the postboxCollapse )
Work is over for another day and, again, I am being lured to the pub to watch Villareal vs Celtic in the UEFA Cup tonight. So much for not drinking - if I can get through tonight at least without smoking then I'll be well pleased.